I’d vote for him. Highlights from his platform:
End the current superstitious rituals at airport security that any fifteen year old could figure out how to get around. Instead, require every passenger to rub a lucky rabbit foot.
Put the “pro-life” back into “nuclear non-proliferation” by unilaterally scrapping all of our nuclear weapons.
New high priority task for the Army Corps of Engineers: Build drive-in movies. Everyone loves drive-ins.
New policy about gays in the military: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Care. Be Fabulous.”
Tough new copyright law provides works with a full fifteen years of protection…one more than our Founding Parental Units intended.
Government offices will use open source software unless they’re being punished.
I’m tired of tough justice. Let’s get some tender-hearted judges on the bench.
Since we’re not trying to turn out standard kids, why do we educate them to pass standardized tests? New option: To get a high school diploma, either pass a standardized test or be a wiseass in public.
I’d be wrong in public. A lot. I’m good at that!
Any senior government official who does not blog has “[bureaucrat]” appended to her title.
Secretary of the Internet becomes the first wiki-based cabinet post.
I will never ever clear brush on vacation.
David is, of course, kidding around — but many a true word, etc.
Update: oh, nooooo!